Those of us in "the support group" were enlightenèd that we can use someone else's name who is effected or has died from aids. I couldn't get that out of my mind all through practice, in fact I kept forgetting to say my name , my one and only spoken line in the whole production "sue" because my brain was spinning ..( sometimes I am processing in my head so much during this whole production I tend to lose focus I gotta work on that ) I kept thinking " who do I know that has been effected ??" I couldn't think of anyone! Later that night someone came to my mind.
This story has " Many Layers" first of all you need to know that I live in Chrisman IL. I moved here from Warren Ohio when I was 12 (So that would have been the year 1988 ). I had a huge culture shock moving to this small town of 1,500 people .. First of all 99.9% of the people at that time (percentage may have dropped some today not much) were white . Where I came from there was only myself and my neighbor friend Sherrie who were white children on that block. I was used to being the minority in my neighborhood , I loved Ohio ,my family still lives there all three of my brothers all my aunts and uncles. When I moved to Chrisman I was not excepted because I talked different , I dressed different ..that 6th grade year was Hell! I had girls follow me home every day from school and make fun of me , and yell at me , and remind me how different I was from their community. I had one girl in particular remind me everyday that is wasn't Halloween. Just because I was different .
One of the memories I have is a story about a hairdresser that lived in our town ( hits home in a way because I now own a salon in this town) he was an openly gay man who had a business in this narrow minded , extremely predgudice town! How BRAVE was he? I remember the kids talking about how he would wear dresses. I remember them laughing and making fun of him. Even still to this day once in a while someone will bring up his name in the salon. I hear things like " he was gay.. But he was a great hairdresser" as if the two have anything to do with each other, why someone's sexuality has to be discussed all the time I will never understand. When I die will people say " she was heterosexual , and she owned a salon in town, plus she loved the theater " ?? Anyway ...this man who haunts my salon once in a while ( by stories of the people in town) died. There were always rumors of him having AIDs. I tried to call around town and get information on him. But everyone just knew the rumor no one really knew the man well enough to know if he ACTUALLY died from AIDs . One of my friends who is a nurse said she thought it might have been from congestive heart failure .
The question isn't did he die from AIDs .. He was labeled as having it, because he was a gay man living in a sheltered town full of mis advised and ignorant people. He was effected by AIDs because of the stigma of the disease , and his story is important. I have also been told he was a kind man, he was friendly, and talented. I will honor him by using his name in my performance. Even though I didn't know him personally , I think it would be nice for him to be honored in a different way for the people in the town of Chrisman.
I connect with him, because I too was rejected for a time in this town, I am afraid in some ways I have confirmed to be accepted . However I do not believe that was an option for him.. Nor should it have had to been. I do believe we are all connected in some way.
CARL
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